Saturday, March 17, 2012

Agrivaina Session 5 Recap

[Once again from the eyes of Samson Jones]

So, the mighty Samson Jones, leaving the smoldering remains of the corrupt officials who dared oppose him in Wessex, returns to fair Agrivaina.

Meeting up with an old associate from a previous expedition (Abador), who had managed to cure himself of his unfortunate mutagen based side effects. Samson Jones agreed to a consulting offer to guide Abador in proper techniques for an expedition to a portal leading to an area known as the "Vats of Mazarin". 

Abador and a rather furry fellow appear to have journeyed through this location previously and had a fairly detailed understanding of the location. The path was through a steaming jungle, into a literally steaming cave that reeked of rotting meat.

The cave lead to a narrow stone bridge over a deep chasm, giant puslating cocoons hung from the ceiling and a glowing rune barred passage over the bridge. Samson Jones bravely began slaying the cocooned monsters as they lay in ambush, until a stray halfling that was following the party stumbled across the rune and activated some sort of magical trap. The giant cocoons sprung to life and monstrous spider mutated ogres (editors note: They were not ogres) began leaping towards the stone bridge. Using secret eastern fighting techniques Samson Jones was able to deflect most of the oncoming ogres into the bottomless chasm (editors note: Spasming wildly with a 10 foot pole, Samson knocked a few into the pit before Abador threw a flask of magic acid and his furry companion turned the surviving mutants to ash through holy incantations).

Moving quickly over the crumbling stone bridge they heard heavy chanting from behind a door, however those who had been here before spoke of vast riches and a terrifying monster to the north. Samson bravely chained the door shut until he could return later and headed north.

In an ornate temple to a pagan god, the whispered and hushed tones of these lesser men accompanying the might Samson Jones told of a horrid creature living in the well, composed of living water and guarding a vast wealth of ancient gold coins, living in the shadow of a statue to this accursed pagan deity.

Samson, a truly clever man, knew the solution. Bravely he poured an entire bottle of pure alcohol into the well and intoxicated the creature, then as it stumbled drunkenly after his compatriots, Samson bravely gained its attention by throwing a lit candle at it (editors note: No...just no). The beast lunged at Samson, who bravely held his ground, knowing it was bound within the room. As the creature lashed in impotent rage, inches from Samson, Samson struck it with a burning candle and ignited the alcohol infused within it.

Its viscous acid exploded in a ball of flame around the room and Samson let out a manly and violent roar of success before retiring and allowing the other adventurers to collect the coins. Any rumours of girlish screaming or being rendered unconscious are slanderous lies by jealous nobodies.

Returning to town for a quick pint or fourteen, it seems the local stray halfling that had been following the group was caught in an unfortunate accidental fire at an alchemists shop. Being a lovable well trained scamp, Samson buried him in a local pet cemetery and returned to his celebratory drinks! Luckily he found a new halfling and decided to convert him to St. Serpentor as a new mascot! 

Everyone seems to love the new mascot, especially that owner of the curio shop. You know...something is really off about that curio shop and its owner...

From the Desk of Jamson Sones, who is in no way the same person as anyone listed in the above article.

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